Earlier this week I build my first battlecruiser in EVE, a Prophecy. Like I mostly do, I named this one after a metalband as well. The only fitting name I could find so quickly was Blaze. Blaze appears to be fast, but in the end it's pretty bulky and slow I also took Blaze on a testdrive today with a couple of missions. All I can say is: WOW! Blaze might appear slow and bulky, she knows how to kill enemy ships and take little to no damage. The second mission I took was one with a lot of enemy ships. I took them out without too much trouble, and the enemy ships didn't even lower my shields for 10%....

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The last week the chaos and headaches seem to have changed into noise on the background. Background noise that comes foreground at odd and unusual intervals. It could mean the chaos and headaches are slowly ebbing away, or that I'm getting more and more used to them (again) and do not really notice it anymore. Aside from the background noise, I'm terribly tired lately. Not just tired where you go to bed and sleep, I wish that was true. No, I'm tired without being able to sleep. Physically I feel like I can't go on. My legs are hurting of exhausting, yesterday I had a slight pain in my wrists, and my eyes almost close because I want to sleep. Mentally I only have trouble concentrating on the thing I'm at at that very moment. And then I go to bed, or lie down on the couch, and find that I'm unable to sleep, and all tiredness is gone in 5 minutes. If I stay in bed and try to sleep, I mostly won't be able to. Also when I go to bed in the evening (around midnight), it still takes me 1 to 2 hours before I fall asleep. You'd suppose that I'd sleep all through the night and wake up late when I'm that tired, but that's not true. I still wake up once or twice a night, and I'm awake around 5am. Going to bed earlier only results in waking up earlier... I hopes the psychiatrist will have his report about me done soon, so that I can get the ritalin and hope I'll be better soon then...

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So I pre-ordered the Digital Deluxe Edition of Star Trek online through Direct2Drive a couple of days before the open beta started. I basically made the pre-order to see the game upfront and to make sure I would not get into some crap I didn't like. Well, I ended up not really liking the game, because it's not really an MMORPG. Star Trek online is heavily instanced, with only 50 players maximum per instance (including open space!), and during the course of the open beta (I ended up at level 14), I found only 2 missions to be yelling for a party - the rest could all be done solo The 2 missions that were yelling for parties were one concerning securing the sector where you had to kill Klingons (and other villain factions in other sectors) for "the greater good". There was actually no real story line behind it. Above all that, the PvP part of the game just outright sucked. You either ended up in space, or were on the ground. In both cases it was much like a Quake II clone where you'd run around, hiding and shooting all that moved if it wasn't your side, rather than cooperation and tactics. So I tried to cancel the pre-order, but Direct2Drive came up with a short answer: "Unfortunately, this product is not eligible for refunds.". WTF??? I'm a citizen of the EU, and I can cancel ANY order through the internet within 7 days! So I turned to PayPal and ordered them to cancel the payment, and they did, since Direct2Drive didn't respond to the ticket I made. I even updated my support ticket at Direct2Drive telling them to cancel the key because I had the refund through PayPal. So I thought I solved it all.... WRONG! Next thing I know, I get an email in response of the updated ticket from Direct2Drive pointing out how and where to get my key for Star Trek online. Now I'm wondering what to do. I still can claim the key for the pre-order (including the goodies attached to it), but I really think the game isn't worth my attention. Above that, I have moral problems, since I didn't actually pay for the game. n the other hand, I did tell Direct2Drive that I cancel the payment, so it's their problem when they still want to hand out the key... ...choices...choices...

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With the coming of Final Fantasy XIV later this year, I thought I'd might as well train myself a bit in the game by playing FInal Fantasy XI again. After the blues of installing the game (the original loader will not run under Vista and Windows 7), I tried to get the game updated. I had constantly had an odd error, and I could not get my account activated. After a couple of reinstalls I found out I downloaded the latest US loader instead of the EU loader When I had that sorted out (and had to wait an hour for the 3rd or 4th time to update the loader), I managed to get my subscription up and running again and to get Final Fantasy XI itself to update... Well, it looks like it's time for me to go to bed now and hope that nothing goes wrong tonight... Then with luck I can play again tomorrow. I have a char there, but I don't know anything about her anymore. Perhaps I'll delete her and start all over again...

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I know the topic sounds a bit odd, but the last 2 days were both good and bad for me. For once, the chaos and headaches were on the background, and I could even enjoy things at times. It sounds odd, but if your brains are in constant stress, it's hard to enjoy almost anything This would mean that those 2 days can be qualified as good days. The down side is that I still suffer from insomnia, and sleep around 4 hours per day. During the day I'm extremely tired and I rest a lot (I can't sleep during the day). This qualifies as bad days since I can't do all I want... But overall I think I've been lucky with these 2 days.

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